You can identify the following Syndromes:
You’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago’s water tank.
You avoid unhealthy looking COPDers in the mall for fear that they’ll drop near you and you’ll have to do CPR on your day off.
You’ve ever held a 14-gauge needle over someone’s vein and said, “Now your going to feel a little stick.”
You can identify the “Kidney Stone Squirm” at 15 feet.
You’ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, “I’m afraid of shots.”
You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth to cough.
You automatically multiply by three the number of drinks a patient claims to have daily.
You can keep a straight face when a patient responds, “Just two beers.”
You develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from constantly locking and unlocking the Narcotic Cabinet
Your idea of a meal break is finishing your coffee before it gets cold
Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal
You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce
You believe the ‘On-call Nurse’ program is a satanic plot
You refer to vegetable and you don’t mean the food group
You know the local detox center number by heart
You believe a book entitled ‘Suicide: Getting it Right the First Time’ will be your next project.
You find humor in other people’s stupidity
Your idea of fine dining is sitting down to eat
You believe a good tape job will fix anything
You don’t believe 90% of what you’re told, and 75% of what you see
You have your weekends off planned a year in advance
You believe that “Shallow gene pool” should be a recognized medical diagnois
You’ve ever had a patient look you dead in the eye and say, “I don’t know how that got stuck in there”
You have ever restrained someone…and it wasn’t a sexual experience
You have recurrent nightmares of being hit and run over by the portable x-ray machine
Translate Post: 
you can accessorize any clothing with white sneakers
lol nice…
you wear scrubs on your day off
You have hefted kidneys as rough as bricks and admired a spleen half the size of London.
Dash it, I knew some day I would regret missing out on the Queen Alexandra’s.
http://www.qaranc.co.uk/
Rose P.
Ha Ha Ha Ha~ Working in the Medical Field for over 30 years, this REALLY hits the ‘funny bone’….
Here is a scene from “Nurse Jackie”…Wouldn’t be GREAT if we could tell those ‘know it all’ Physicians what we REALLY Think….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ-Xvyb-RFo
I thought it’d take only changing a few not-to-messy-at-ALL, bed pans!
Anything beyond that, I’d rather go back and continue be your Bohemian artist type of lazy bum..with talent of course!!!
Or,you’re so Blonde you think an anal thermometer is for Cooking Turkey.
Bwa ha ha.Those were great!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the grocery store, you check the whole chickens for a pulse, stick thermometers in pork butts, and put band-aids on cracked eggs.