She keeps bugging me to do a stand-up routine at their talent show. I could open with something like, “Sorry I’m late folks, I had to stop to pee. I knew you all would understand, I bet at least half of you are peeing right now!” Yes? No? Maybe?
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Be careful the average 87 year old can throw a colostomy bag a good 20 ft
There is no such thing as bad taste in a nursing home.
Bad smells, yes, but bad taste — no.
It’s a little ify, if they have a good sense of humor, you’ll be fine, but if not, your gonna be in a lot of trouble.
Maybe try some jokes on memory, they can all relate to that.
Uh, no! Personally, I like the humor but I doubt they would see this as a good first impression.
It would only be bad taste if you put it in your mouth and gargle
just make sure u DONT say….” I know some a yall is just dying to see me”
that’s mean…
but funny.
gosh, how sensitive of you to ask!! i agree with yidiot!! Maybe you should set up a glass sheild before you start…soiled diapers are heavy as well
Yes go for it!~
old people need to laugh every once in a while..
just make sure they don’t laugh so hard they forget to breathe..
that just spells ‘law suite’ lol
be sweet whatever you do! I started my nursing career in a nursing home, and let me tell you, they can hit, spit, pinch and bite much harder than the average person!?
I suppose it would depend on if they are all wearing Depends.
Actually, I think it’s funny, but remember too that laughing can also cause incontinence, so there’s that issue all over again.
Yes, great idea. Old people love laughing at things like crapping on themselves. Do some funny ones about them getting cancer, or loosing their teeth, How about the one where the guy puts his father in the nursing home, and the old man complains everyday. After 6 months the old man says he had sex with one of the nurses, and feels a little better……….but the very next day the old man is complaining again. The son says, why you complaining dad. you had sex yesterday. The father says that he fell down today and while getting up, Big Luke the 300 pound orderly lifted his Johnny and gave it to him long and hard. The son says, but you did have sex yesterday, you gotta take the good with the bad, the father says to the son “Sure, I had sex once in 6 months, but I fall everyday” The old people will love that one.
Very nice, although it is not a pleasant death to be gummed to death by a bunch of outraged senior citizens…
wear a suit of armour or just whisper jokes so they can’t hear.
you realize they are armed with used Depends don’t you?
That one would get a chuckle. You can only get so much mileage from poo-poo and pee-pee jokes. If you want to be a crowd pleaser at the Sunnydale Convalescent Center, tell dirty jokes. The dirty old men will love it and the octogenarian grannies will outright cackle with glee.
Just remember you could be in that situation some day.
hi I wouldn’t u might get thrown out hugs
This reminds me of one of my favorite questions ever (believe it or not, it wasn’t one of my own.) “Is it okay to send a get well soon card to someone who is most likely going to die?” Surprisingly enough, it didn’t last too long.
I think that’s hilarious.
also talk about stuff like Viagara, and then say how it must be nice getting a bj with someone who doesn’t have teeth or has the ability to take theirs out….
Cowbell, ol’ friend, if you do that, urine trouble and things will just get bladder and bladder after that. Sorry, just kidneying you as I have a one tract mind but at least I liver it up though some find my puns hard to swallow or stomach. Did I rectum your day, buddy?
I know, …. depends
Go with it darlin Cowie….make them all piss their pants…maybe they will leave you all their money…..
As long as you say it loud I think you could quite literally kill them…
My friend, I think the whole thing is a bad idea.
My grandma is 93 and every time she laughs, she farts… can you imagine a whole room full of this? I’m sure the State Fire Marshall should intervene….