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I’ve always felt my dad never loved me unconditionally and he actually does like my cousin more. He’s an extreme and I’m actually a good girl – responsible, independent, strong in values. My cousin and I got along well but the older we’re getting…we’ve been drifting apart, unfortunately. We had very different upbringings. She’s an only child and grew up very spoiled and always got what she wanted. My grandparents raised her and sucked up to them and her distant dad – very street smart. She lived w. our family for a year and as much as I love her, it was hard on me. She always needed to be the center of attention and was constantly competing w. me. Although we did share the same “happy go lucky” attitude I felt she was a bit immature for her age and after going through hardships in my life, I felt I got along better w. older people.

My dad also grew up an only child as well and to this day in his 50′s would still throw tantrums and the same manipulative antics. What I don’t understand is this biased double standard. I have a sunny, silly sense of humor and if I exhibit that, i get looked down upon fr. my father. My cousin does the same thing, and he’s more open minded and thinks she’s “funny”. I’m ambitious and very into making “dreams” come true. In her life now, she’s going against old school “asian beliefs” – she quit college, moved in and is mooching off of her rich boyfriend and his family. My dad is very “conditional” w. me…when i got into nursing school, this was the first time he showed approval and when things didn’t work out during the time, it’s like he lost respect for me and kept giving me this “f-ck you” attitude and said, “you’re a loser, you’re not gonna make it anywhere in life”. He then brings up my cousin and how she’s better than me.

My mom defends me and finds it weird he does this as well. She’s aware of what my cousin has done to take advantage of our family and grandparents, after all this support (emotional, financial, hosing) she’s given her, only to have her been played.
Why is my dad like this?