NurseWords.com

this is very personal but i would like opinions ..
please dont leave any rude comments .
id greatly appreciate it .

Life isn’t someone who plays fair, nor does he play by the rules. It may not be a proven theory, but it definitely is n understood principle. Life’s sense of humor is uninterpretable. Its techniques can bring warmth to your heart or burn down your home, you never know.
Unfortunately as a naive 14 year old encountering my first day at high school, I had no idea what foul twists life had planned for me. I remember the words my mom said to me as I left for my that day . “ Life may be unfair at times, but you must hold your head high and keep walking forward” . With this as an inspiration my freshman and sophomore years of high school blew by like the warm winds of spring. Sure I had minor disagreements with my parents at home, but I separated my family life from my school work.
Junior year set in and proceeded like the two years before, the difference being that my classes during junior year were all college preparatory, since I was a part of the International Baccalaureate Program. The year began smoothly, and in October with the help of my friend, I received a part time job as a secretary at a periodontists office , just a few blocks from my school. Thus I proceeded an every day routine, which consisted of school, then work, then completing my home assignments after work . But lifes jealousy burned a bright fire, content was the last thing it had on its mind for me .
In the midst of November a while before thanksgiving break, my close friend Aliyanna commited suicide. I had been friends with Aliyanna since fourth grade , and thus we shared a special bond. When I lost Aliyanna, it was as if I lost a direction in life. Like any junior I tried to keep my grades in good shape, but things only became worse after her funeral. For a while I went into a state of depression and denial, I couldnt bring myself to belive that Aliyanna was really gone. Some of the days id just dial her cell phone number hoping shed pick up , just hearing her voicemail was a comfort. The fact that really got to me I believe was that I was unable to help my friend, I felt as though I had failed as a friend , I failed to stop her from giving up completely. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months , most of whom knew Aliyanna moved on , but I found that impossible to do . I felt moving on and leaving her in the past was beyond betrayal. My junior year turned into pure misery , but I managed to somehow trudge through it .
In the summer afterwords, I would glumly drag myself to work, one day while at work , I could hear the radio playing in the background in our lounge. One of the songs seemed to catch me of guard, called The Reason , I listened to it over and over afterwords , and it never failed to make me cry . I felt as if Aliyanna gave up because she lost reason to keep going, and even though it hurt to believe the bitter truth I had to face it no matter what. I felt as though that song was speaking to me, Aliyanna was the reason I had to keep going , change my life around from absolute misery and actually help someone out. That day I made it my top priority to pull my life together ,graduate from high school and get into medical or Nursing college. Not for myself , but for Aliyanna. I felt as a failure as a friend at a time , but I know there are other people out there just like Aliyanna was, who need help, and one of the many great ways to help people would be to pursue a career in Doctory and/or Nursing.
My senior year, this has become not just my priority but also my motivation and vitality, I have improved my grades significantly and have tried to keep things balanced as much as possible. I know that I may have lost my close friend, and the pain of loosing her will never leave me , and even though we will never get a chance to chase each other in our wheelchairs at our nursing home when we are older like we used to joke about, shes up there in heaven watching over me and smiling , knowing that I was able to turn my life around before it took a turn for the worst, and one day I know I will see her again .