Hey, I’m looking for some good medical/doctor/nurse jokes… I prefer it to be clean, but will take some dirty ones, too… Sometimes they’re the funniest… but not “too” dirty/nor vulgar. Thanks! Appreciate it!….
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NurseWords.com
dictionary of nursing abbreviations and acronyms
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A man suspected of SARS was lying in bed with a mask over his mouth when a young auxiliary nurse came to sponge his face and hands.
“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my te$ticles black?”
Embarrassed, the nurse replies: ” I was to wash your face and hands.” He struggles again to ask, “Nurse, are my te$ticles black?”
Again the nurse replies, “I can’t tell. I’m only here to wash your face and hands.”
Just then, the Head Nurse was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so she marched over to inquire what was wrong.
“Nurse,” he mumbled, “Are my te$ticles black?”
Being a nurse of long-standing, the Head Nurse was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his peni$ out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, “Nothing wrong with your te$ticles.”
At this the man pulled off his mask and shouted:
“I SAID… ARE MY TESTS RESULTS BACK?!!”
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An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.”
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: “WHAT?”
“What did he say? What’s he want?”
His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear.”
Here’s some more:
http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Medical-Jokes
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under “Number of children,” she wrote “10,” and where it said “List names of children,” she wrote “Leroy.” When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: “Now here where it says “List names of children,” you’re supposed to write the names of each one of your children.” “Dey all named Leroy,” said the black woman. “That’s very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?” asked the welfare worker. “Oh, den I uses the last names.” TELL me if u find this funny after I know i did
What ever you eat in your life – 75% of that is needed for you to keep the doctors alive.
If you were to eat only 25% of what you eat currently all the doctors will die of no business.