Well, it is that time of year again, and I am being asked to put togethere the proverbeal Christmas Wish list from my mothere in law. She has a wild sense of humor, and normally, I am able to come up with anything to make her laugh. I have looked the net over and over for days to find a very fake, very creative, and very funny christmas list for myself(nurse) and husband( US Active Marine).
I get tired of being asked to make one each year, so I thought I would send a funny one, but I have a blank mind, and no resources on the net to find any….
I want SEVERAL, and by SEVERAL, I mean at least 20, each. I know thats a lot, so do not attempt it if its too much for you.
SHe is a pastor, she lives in MD, and had 4 kids….
Thinking caps on!! MINE MUST BE LOST!!!
Thanks to anyone who is helping me!!!
Translate Post: 
Dill pickle peeler made by Pucker Up Products
Save Your Friends Deluxe Set Board Game by Bible Thumpers of N. America
Road Tar Flavored Candy by the Maryland Dept of Transportation
Electric Butt Wiper – By No More Poo on You
Rent- A – Nose – Picker Coupon – by Greenie Meanies Ltd
How to Complain to the Military and Win – Software – by Yeah, That’s Going to Happen Inc
Stethascope and Anal Thermometer Freezer – by YIKES!!
Poor Hymn Singing Blocking Headphones, make everyone around you sound wonderful – by My Poor Ears.com
Sorry, I know you said 20 but that’s the best I can come up with.
Have fun
01. A face-lift for mom-in-law.
02. Wish for the Easter Bunny to show up instead of that big fat man in the red garb.
03. For an AK-47 for husband instead of that lousy M-16A he’s toying around with.
04. Wish for an all new nurses outfit–all black instead of white.
05. Wish for a new thinking cap that you can super-glue on your numb-skull so next time you won’t lose it.
06. Wish for neither Democrats nor Republicans to win office. Vote Socialist Party.
07. Wish for strength to paint the house instead of husband.
08. Wish for an unblank mind.
09. Wish that Christmas lands on leap year.
10. Wish that the New Orleans Saints win the Super Bowl.
11. Wish for a whole new wardrobe on your husband’s measly pay.
12. Wish that I would stop already.
13. Wish for that elephant you always wanted. So next time that neighbor walks his dog and lets it poop in your yard, walk your elephant over to his yard.
14. Wish that you could take down all those colored Christmas lights off your eaves because everyone knows your whole neighborhood is color blind and Jewish.
15. Wish for the strength to serve everyone each on Thanksgiving a Swanson’s Turkey Dinner.
16. Wish for the courage to flush down the toilet all of “The Pills” then tell your husband you want a BEEEG family.
17. Wish for a new muffler becaue the old one make neighbors think you’re yelling at your husband (hope I’m not getting too personal here).
18. Wish for your kids to keep on being smart-alecks because if they grow up and become losers…
19. Wish to kick me in the butt for all the wishes I suggested.
And The Last Wish But Not Least:
20. Wish for world peace!
I will give it a try, but I am not so sure I will get to number 20 – be patient.
1. Coffee with Jesus.
2. A tutor for George Bush
3. A complete, and I mean complete, makeover for Kim Jung II
4. An attitude adjusment for President Ahmanhidad of Iran
5. A viable third party candidate
6. Professional athletes that don’t cheat, don’t use drugs, and don’t complain when they get 10 million a year instead of 15 million.
7. No more stories about Paris Hilton
8.A car that actually gets 25 miles to the gallon
9 School teachers that know how to spell ‘university’
10 The government of Mexico stops complaining about the wall we are building on US soil
11.Politicians that aren’t millionaires
12 Polticians that have to watch their own tv ads for 24 hours straight before the ad goes on tv
13. People on their cell phones in restaurants stop talking about their personal health problems
14.A way to take 300 billion dollars used in war to cure Parkinsons, diabetes and Alzheimers and educated children-300 billion that the government said didn”t exist 6 years ago
That is all for now – maybe you can take the best of a few lists and come up something really good.