I put this under journalism, hoping for a writer with an imagination?
Well, it is that time of year again, and I am being asked to put togethere the proverbeal Christmas Wish list from my mothere in law. She has a wild sense of humor, and normally, I am able to come up with anything to make her laugh. I have looked the net over and over for days to find a very fake, very creative, and very funny christmas list for myself(nurse) and husband( US Active Marine).
I get tired of being asked to make one each year, so I thought I would send a funny one, but I have a blank mind, and no resources on the net to find any….
I want SEVERAL, and by SEVERAL, I mean at least 20, each. I know thats a lot, so do not attempt it if its too much for you.
SHe is a pastor, she lives in MD, and had 4 kids….
Thinking caps on!! MINE MUST BE LOST!!!
Thanks to anyone who is helping me!!!
Translate Post: 
A new turtle
Cell phone telephone holder
Shoe phone
Toothpick holder
Subscription to Mad Magazine
Gift certificate to the local mental hospital
Flour seeds
Mink coat for the dog
Sour grapes
Universal weather controller
Liposuction for the fat cat down the street
An orange tickler
Behavior spray for our out of control roaches
Large size of marine control spray
Rootbeer barrels
Laffy Taffy
Ostrich feathers
Vacuum Cleaner Cover – preferably one of an animal
Wax for our surfboards
Matching underwear – with penquin pattern
Book of Common Sense
Book about Inheritance Taxes
Gift certificate for cemetary plots in their hometown
Gift certificate for bikini wax for husband
Box of wormy apples
Box of rectal thermometers
Rubber hoses
Copy of “How to Cope When Your Husband is Gay”
I know – some of them might not be at all humourous to you but they made me chuckle. Just thought I’d take a min and give it a shot. Maybe ONE of them might grease your funny bone and get you started!
Peace!
a pony…everyone wants a pony, hard core s & m lingerie, a remote fart machine, home preg. tests, a jar of flarp, a book of the kama sutra, a tennis racket bug zapper, incontenency supplies, gift certificates for piercings and tattoos, pole-dancing lessons, stripper shoes, a trip to space camp, fake bullet hole stickers to put on your car, sudoku game toilet paper, a solid chocolate monopoly board game, hard core rap cd’s, gender re-assignment consultation, name a star gift certificate (a star named after you) a bottle of dom. romane conti 1997 wine…$1540, from hammacher schlemmer: world’s largest crossword puzzle (wall-sized), 5 octave roll-up keyboard, 2-person hovercraft $13,999.95, transparent canoe $1459.95, the hydro-foil water scooter $499.95, from f.a.o schwartz: dance on piano, $250,000.00, a miniature ride-on train for your backyard, $3000….that’s all i can think of…worn out now…must have chocolate to re-energize.
LOL, MissHazel got my vote. Thats hilarious!